


Gotta Be a Reason

by roseytozie



Category: Criminal Minds (US TV)
Genre: Its cute leave me alone, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-08
Updated: 2019-01-08
Packaged: 2019-10-06 18:43:01
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,103
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17350541
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/roseytozie/pseuds/roseytozie
Summary: Derek is leaving. He made the announcement and Spencer is at a loss of words.





	Gotta Be a Reason

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this a while ago and never posted it. Its pretty simple and cheesy but idk i like it!

Spencer didn't know how to feel, everything was happening so fast, his head was spinning and he felt like he was going to fall through the solid ground. Derek had just announced that he was leaving, leaving the team and leaving Spencer. He had to act like a supportive team member and friend.

Being rational was never one of Spencers strong suits, he could hold a grudge for ages if given the chance to, so his friend, and someone he loved with his entire being leaving him, hurt like hell. Savannah had left Derek after he was kidnapped because the PTSD was too hard to handle, you think she’d understand but she would rather focus on her career than the man she was supposed to love, Spencer would never do that, never. 

“Hey, Reid look at me.” Derek loomed over Spencer, getting his mind out of the abyss he was digging himself into. He looked up only to be meet with the person he spent the night trying to avoid.

He didn’t want to see Derek because he wanted to repress what he felt, like usual.

“How do you feel? I know you way too well to think you’re handling this well.” He set down on Spencer’s deak and reached for his hand. Hoping to get a reaction, Spencer just got up and proceeded to go home. He didn’t want to deal with this tonight, or any night. 

 

His home felt like it was closing in on him, why did he just get up? Why didn’t he tell Derek how he felt? Why did he walk away from the one person in his life who has made him feel special for everything he was? Why was he alone at a time like this? His bed and sleep sounded like the only safe option for him right now, as everything was reminding him of Derek and what he missed out on.

It was three in the morning and Spencer had not gotten one wink of sleep, he thought that his bed would be safe but he felt like his brain was going a mile a minute, until he heard a knock on his door. There shouldn’t be anyone there, there was no reason for anyone to be at his apartment.

He walked to the door, stumbling over a book and when he got there he took a big breath. Opening up the door he saw Derek, covered in rain, because it apparently was storming outside but Spencer had been so lost in his own mind he had no idea. 

“Why are you her-”

“ Stop Spencer, let me speak, let me talk to you for once today.”

Derek motioned for him to sit down and he squatted down in front of him.  
“You mean so much to me, and for you to not speak to me today, the day I tell everyone I have to leave the job that is so important to me, to work on myself, something I never thought I’d have to do because I am supposed to be a person that gets through every hardship stronger. The one person that means the most to me in this world doesn’t speak to me after I make this decision, broke my heart.”

Spencer opened his mouth to say something but Derek held his hand up.

“Your opinion is the only one that matters to me, and you didn’t even say anything.”

“Derek I didn’t need to say anything, it’s your life you make your own choices, you know what is good for you, and i respect that.”

“But Sp-.”

 

“No buts, I shouldn’t have to say anything for you to feel like YOUR decision is right, besides I trust you to be right, you’re very smart Derek.”

Derek just looked at him, something in his eyes changed as he kept his gaze with Spencer, he got up and set next to him, putting his hand on his.Spencers heart started to race, he acted like he wanted Derek to just make up his mind and leave but that is the very last thing he wanted, he wanted Derek to stay, he wanted him to stay. 

“Did you know savannah and I came to a mutual decision? We both decided it was over for us.”

 

“Why?”

“There was too many things happening, between both of our jobs and Hank, it was too much, plus there was a lot of things that during when i was abducted that I couldn’t deal with until then.”

Spencer gave Derek a confused glace as Derek went on.

“I saw my dad, and I saw you. You held my hand and you told me everything would be okay, that you would be here waiting for me.You gave me the hope to keep going as my dad was talking me through it.” Derek looked up at Spencer, Spencer didn’t know how to feel, he was in total shock.

“Why didn’t you tell me this Derek?”

“I was scared.”

“Derek Morgan scared, are you sure you’re okay?” Derek laughed and looked down, Spencer grabbed his face to make him look him in the eyes. 

“Hiding this from me wouldn’t make anything better, it wouldn’t make your PTSD or anxiety any better, and I want the best for you Derek, you mean everything to me.” He let his grip on Derek go but didn’t lose his eye contact, he just started at the person who had his heart, ran around with it everyday in his back pocket and didn’t even know it. He decided this was his last chance, before Derek moved on with his life and found other things to do without him, this was the time. He planted his lips onto Derek’s, soaking in everything Derek was and everything that led up to him getting the courage to do this. 

“I love you Derek, no matter how many times I’ve tried to push it back for years, hoping maybe it would go away but when you said you were leaving I couldn’t imagine you walking away and me not telling you so I avoided you.”

He felt everything all at once, the world felt like it had stopped and they were the only two people in the world.

Derek kissed Spencer again, bringing all he felt to the surface.

“I love you too, and this isn't the end for us, I’m not going anywhere we just won’t be working together.” 

“I will do everything to be with you, I’ve waited too long, I’m going to be here for you and with you.” Spencer said, taking Derek's hands into his.


End file.
